Well, when they say count your blessings - you really need to count your blessings. This week has been crazy...nothing that I ever expected for "my life" to happen. With two perfectly healthy pregnancies, one of the reasons why Jeff and I decided wholeheartedly to become Surrogate Parents - did I ever think that this pregnancy would ever be different. Well it seems to be turning out that way...
As you've been following my posts, you all know that at week 15 I bled a ton thinking that I lost the baby - which thankfully I did not and it ended up being a large clot. Then at week 26, I began to spot again - old blood - but still spotting and now at week 29...Monday I started to spot again - but again it was bright red blood.
Monday night I called the doctors and they sent me into the hospital as they have the past two times this occurred...difference being when I was on the monitors they were picking up contractions every 3-4 minutes. I had no idea - I thought they were just cramps...but I wasn't thinking they were contractions. Along with the blood and the contractions - I became 1 cm dialated - not just on the outside but on the inside this time (although they said my cervix was still very long - which is a good thing). The doctors weren't concerned about the 1 cm as with this being my third pregnancy that's common - but they were concerned with the contractions as they didn't want me to dialate more.
They diagnosed me with Chronic Abruption of the Placenta - which means that the placenta and my uteran wall which are attached has a slight tear in it. When the tear fills with fluid/blood from both the placenta and my uterus - the build up will release and hence I will spot. Because blood is a irritant to the uterus, my uterus begins to contract to get the blood out - causing contractions...although the diagnoses sounds scary - it can be common with IVF pregnancies and because they're aware of it (although it doesn't show up on ultrasounds cause it's so small) - they are watching me closely.
In the course of all of this - I ensured that I emailed Tristan's daddies to keep them in the loop. I never want to have them worry being so far away in France - but this is their baby and I want them to experience everything about being a parent - even through pregnancy. Although all of this was happening to me - the baby (Tristan) didn't seem affected at all. He is 100% perfect in my belly and continues to be! With the ultrasounds they did on him - we found out that at this time he's a 4lb baby (which is quite large at this time...most babies are about 2 and a half pounds right now). So, Tristan is happy and healthy still in my belly - which is our ultimate goal!!! ________ & ________ were really great while I was in the hospital - emailing me and calling me to keep my spirits positive. Although they are very nervous being so far away - they are supportive of myself, Jeff and the boys. They always think of my feelings and the feelings of my family and want to make sure that I am okay. They understand how hard all of this is on all of us and really let us know that they are with us - even with the distance.
Monday night they began to give me fluids through an IV in hopes that that would halt the contractions - it did not. They then moved the fluids to a drug called Magnesium - not a fun drug at all! With Magnesium you're body begins to feel hot and heavy, eye vison becomes blurry and hard to keep your eyes open, for some its hard to breath, you cannot get out of bed while on Mag so they put a catheder in you, you can't eat and are limited to ice chips only. Being the "in control" obsessive person that I am - I couldn't deal with the cathedar - every time I had a contraction - the feeling of a bladder infection occurred due to the irritation of the cathedar and I begged the nurse to TAKE IT OUT!!! I promised to pee in a bed pan every two hours to get rid of all the fluids in my body. The nurses thought I was crazy and said that they'd do it but can't promise that the catheder wouldn't be put back in later. I made sure that this wasn't going to happen - I became the patient that wasn't affected by Mag - was pulling myself up in bed to pee in a bed pan and didn't let anything but the blurry vison affect me. The nurses and doctors were amazed! I was just happy that I didn't have the damn catheder in me anymore!!!
Along with the Mag - they also gave me 2 steroid shots to develop Tristan's lungs faster in the case that we do not make it to full term. The shots were given 12 hours apart - so 10pm Monday night and 10pm Tuesday night. Mag had to be taken for at least 48 hours and had to be taken for 24 hours after the last steroid shot - so Mag continued until Wed night at 10pm.
Wednesday was a very hard day for me - being almost 2 days away from my boys (who did visit me in the hospital - but obviously had to leave) and not eating for 2 days and not getting up and moving - I was becomming stir crazy. Then the doctor came in and told me how I would be in the hospital till at least Thursday night and when I got to go home I'd have to be on bedrest. I was a mess - how do you do bedrest with two little kids? How do I, who do almost everything for my family, sit back and not do anything? How do I depend on everyone else when it's everyone that always depends on me? My emotions were going crazy. I was lucky to have my mom with me when the doctor came in because she was able to listen as I was able to cry...
From having two perfect pregnancies previously, to having one that I am at 29 weeks and on bedrest was really hard for me to believe. My mom, Jeff, my inlaws - everyone is very supportive and are ensuring me that we will get through this - we will go day by day and whatever needs to get done will get done. The most important factor is keeping me healthy and well so that Tristan stays happy and well. I was finally released on Thursday night...and was able to come home to my boys and Jeff. Although I do nothing but lay in bed and on the couch - just having the opportunity to call Gavin and Tatum to sit next to me is enough...I have to let my anxiety of having a clean house and getting up to help disappear - and just need to be grateful that I am home.
When released - they gave me meds to continue to take at home every 6 hours to keep the contractions from beginning again. They said that there is no promise that the contractions will definitely stop - but I'm due to be on the meds until week 37 of pregnancy. I was also given the bedrest instructions - which of course made me cringe again - but I gotta do what I gotta do. Since being home - Jeff has stepped up his game on being a mother and a father and I am more in love with him now seeing him do everything. I knew he always had it in him - but watching him step up to the plate to ensure that I stay safe is wonderful. Tatum understands that he needs to help daddy and that mommy can't do much - so he's doing the best he can to help us out. Gavin doesn't really understand and shows a ton of frustration - but on a good note - he won't remember much of this! My mother and father, as always, step up to the plate and are doing everything to make life easier for Jeff and I. When daycare and school aren't in session - they're taking the kids for a few hours to run them restless and last night they took them overnight so that Jeff could have a break. I am so very lucky to have family and friends that are so supportive and are willing to help out whenever they can.
This journey is still going - which is incredible and makes me so thankful. Thankful to be doing this for ______ & ______ even through the difficulties - but also so thankful because I know the difference between easy pregnancies and the struggles other women and men have to face. This is such a learning experience - that brings new lessons everyday...the lesson today is to be Thankful for what I have and to take one day at a time.
I'll provide more updates shortly - my appointments are weekly now for monitoring - so I will have new news next week...just fingers crossed everything remains stable.
Thanks for following! :)
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